Like a sign from the gods, or at least Mark Zuckerberg, I am locked out of my facebook account now that I tried to start it up again. That seems like a great excuse to do another round of Totally Random Reviews.
1. Eating an entire bag of cheese balls for dinner
Do recommend. It feels almost like eating actual food, but requires no preparation save for opening the bag. Goes well with beer and doesn’t leave a gross taste in your mouth that elicits feelings of guilt and regret (like, for example, cool ranch doritos. Not that I would know.) PLEASE NOTE: the bag has a misprint. Says it serves 4 but actually this bag is exactly the size of dinner for one.
Also I would like to point out that the bag of cheese balls I may have just eaten was the “Just the Basics” brand from CVS and there’s something both highly amusing and disturbing to think that cheese balls are considered to be some sort of U.S. food staple or something.
Then again, I did just eat them for dinner.
2. Revlon color stay eyeliner
I realize eyeliner isn’t for everyone but I firmly believe everyone should try it once. And if you’re only going to wear eyeliner one time, make it this one. Because it’s relatively affordable and it is pretty amazing. I have had this eyeliner stay on through a massage while my face was squished into one of those massage pillow thingies, crying, sex, sleeping, and pretty much any other activity you can imagine where your head might possibly get squished into a pillow. This eyeliner can take it. All other eye makeup gives me Raccoon Eye but this stuff is magical, and, like “Just the Basics” cheese balls, is available at CVS.
3. This Weird Cookie from Big Shoulders Coffee
I’m a pretty big fan of Big Shoulders Coffee, reasons including: the location, the lighting inside, the nice people that work there, and these cookies.
I am obsessed with this cookie. I just researched it and it appears it is called an alfajore and the link also takes you to the site of the people who make it. The website claims that “any time is the right time to indulge in one” and I can say with confidence that is 100% true. The main thing to know about this cookie is that, like the completely unrelated song says, you can’t take it with you. It will crumble all over the place. You have to get it “for here.” The cookies are like crumbly buttery lemony shortbread in flavor but the texture is much lighter, and then there’s about a quarter to a half inch of caramel-y dulce de leche just sitting in the middle, waiting to give you a cavity. The whole thing is rolled in coconut. It goes beautifully with an espresso and that feeling of confusion and annoyance that comes of not really knowing if you’ll have a job in a couple of weeks, or not.